Good morning, Dimitri. You look worn out. Bad sleep? No, I want you to stand up, at the moment. The test is about to start. Yes, today you’re going to measure yourself against this wonderful game console. It is going to be hard for you, I swear: I’ve been playing with it for all the afternoon long, I couldn’t stop. Stay still. Just give me a moment to turn the machine and the screen on, just the time to choose a videogame. This one is going to be perfect. Great. Why are you still standing there? Start the worming-up. Stop looking at me Dimitri, you make me feel uncomfortable. Wait, I have to fill this in. Time to start: 10.30 p.m. I am going to start playing in less than a minute. It’s not fair but I can’t stop myself telling you this: I don’t think you will entertain me more than this videogame does. Ready? Play. Change subject, Dimitri; I don’t care what you are saying. No, it isn’t funny. There’s nothing to laugh about. Entertain me, come on! Entertain me more! Entertain me better! I’m not involved in your family’s drama. Say something funny! Do something funny! No, this is just embarrasing. Shame on you. Hey! Stay away from the cables! Don’t touch the console. This behavior reveals your miserable mean trick. Stop it, don’t move. Stop it, shut up: let me play. You lost, Dimitri. The machine beat you hands down. Your performance was horrible, silly and vain as your whole existence is. Go away; I don’t want to see you until tomorrow.
Illustration by Gianmaria Borin www.imegadito.com
Translation credit: Chiara Ferrara